I for Icchadhari

Iccha=Desire

Dhari= One who holds

Ichhadhari: One who holds desires

Yes, yes, all you readers of mythology and watchers of ‘angry snake turns into angrier woman who avenges some wrong done her’ movies will wonder if I’ve lost it.

But think about it. Why shouldn’t I be the holder of desires?

Pani puri. A bowl of vanilla ice cream with a dollop of marmalade and a splash of limoncello. Strawberries and cream at Wimbledon. Canadian Cheesy Poutine. A plate of crispy bacon…

No? These bowls of desire are very obvious, no?

I wish to holder, bigger bolder desires for everyone to see. And may I have them with hot toasted bread with curls of butter melting on the golden brown crust. please?

And they’ll tell you, ‘You’re a woman. Stop being so greedy. And you cannot talk about desires so openly.’

‘Why not?’

‘Women cover up their needs and wants. Their days are designed around the needs of her family. First as a daughter and then as a wife. You want to hold your desires for everyone to see? Just not done.’

Hah! Watch me.

I’ll start with ice cream for lunch. Add lots and lots and lots of sprinkles. No thought about there might be no sprinkles left for kids.

I will recycle an empty vodka bottle as a water bottle and calmly put it on the desk when I begin to teach to shock and awe grad school kids.

Mebbe I will wear glitter in my hair and pretend it’s an ordinary everyday day.

Naah. These are just childishly defiant things. And no poetry stage is going to give me an audience that cannot think of barely legal poets who cannot think beyond their angsty breasts. I’m fed up of tales of their pain, stories about other people’s hunger. Their heartbreaks and their pity parties. Yes, I did work out the need to buy and use a firearm – just helping those who write poems of misery and hurt, those who wear their sadness in their eyes but won’t let the tears fall for fear of marking the face they are wearing…

My desires are pushing me up the cliff of everyday life and I have superglued my wings to my back. Icarus had the right idea but he didn’t plan well. I have sunscreen.

Watch my desires fly, world. Watch me swallow the Sun.

 

Tags: AtoZChallenge, BrainsOnChocolate, rage